It was yet another Sunday evening and I was on my way to catch a bus to Bangalore. There was a Rajahamsa (Volvo) bus standing . People didn’t hesitate to rush towards it though the fares were about 20% higher than the ordinary buses. Actually the extra money was worth the ambiance. As I squeezed myself into the bus, I saw three men growling at each other passionately.
Apparently, one guy tried to take a seat and the other guy spoke to him to get lost in an impolite tone. Things got worse when the second guy accused the first one that he had consumed alcohol. The first guy retorted and called the second guy a “Gaandu” or an asshole.
This was the tipping point of the conversation. The manly anger and passion took center stage. Both these fools were married and had the desire to prove their manhood to their wives who were sitting behind. Honestly, both those ladies thought that they were acting like fools
“Stop this rowdy behavior or I’ll thump your ass and teach you some manners”
At this stage a third man entered the scene. By this time I had taken a seat that second from last and settled comfortably. My mother was giving me the customary instructions from outside. I was just nodding from the inside. Within a few seconds stakes of the fight became higher. The guy who was alone had to shout higher to defend himself against the petty threats of the other two. He played a good mix of “victim” and “lone brave man” card.
Now he advised the other guy in a different tone.
“You have a wife and son. Don’t spoil your life. Just keep quiet and stay away from me”, he warned in a authoritative tone. The other two guys returned the same dialogue in a louder and firmer tone. I want untangling my earphones and my mom was waving at me from outside. I waved back.
The baby in the mothers arms woke up and started to cry. But the men started to shout louder and some intervention was inevitable.
Now they were planning a duel on the platform as the place inside the bus was insufficient. Both parties were ready for the fight.
There are always some wise men who are capable of stopping fights. Their secret of success is this.
Raise the reputation of both individuals and ask them to hold on to it. This works almost every time. It did. But the damping factor is always present. The fight dies down. Some final comments are always made.
The guy who was accused of being drunk pulled out some question paper and said that he was returning after attending some exam. The first guy said that he had seen fakes like him many times and claimed to be an employee in commissioner’s office. The reply was even more hilarious. The first guy announced that he was an employee at the High Court. I did not doubt their claims, given the present state of our country. We are like this only because of dicks like these.
Now their wifes started to use the “Anna (bhaiyya /brother )- sentiment ” to stop the fight. The chances of a long drawn conflict seemed imminent until one intelligent guy made a witty remark.
“Sirs, both of you are in responsible positions, so please behave yourselves. Otherwise all the people in the bus will be disturbed”
The conductor also said that the better person should show some magnanimity.
That was a winning strategy. One guy offered to get down from the bus for the sake of peace. The other guy tried some reconciliatory tactics. And finally silence was restored, thanks to some more interventions. I just noted in my mind that masculinity is such a strong force in society no matter what your social or economic position is.
Thus , my dose of Sunday evening entertainment came to an end. I plugged in my earphones and played an Adele track. Aha ! What a voice.